The things I'll miss

I’ve talked a great deal about what I won’t miss once we move from this house into something smaller and more within our means, but I haven’t really talked much about what I will miss, or at least I don’t recall doing so. Today I was in my studio packing it up – or rather, trying to pack it up. It’s just so depressing, because I know that it’s unlikely that we will be able to find another house that will allow me the flexibility to have a room devoted to a studio.

My studio is not very large – and I use it for fabric arts. Quilting, in particular, but it’s also used for the occasional home or fashion project as well. But it affords me the luxury of not having to put away everything each time I use the space. I can lay out fabrics and “audition” them for various pieces for days at a time, coming back occasionally to look at them with fresh eyes to see if I still like the combination, or so I can make changes when I feel the whim. I hang many of my tools on the walls there, so they are within easy reach. And I have TONS of things in there that I’ve collected over the years – rotary cutters & mats, threads, fabrics, two machines, cabinets, and a host of other sewing paraphernalia that I find, if not essential to the task of sewing, very nice things to have anyway.

With the studio room gone, I will have no choice but to pare down and downsize my things – I suspect that most of the scrapbooking items will get the boot long before my fabrics do, though.

Another thing I’m going to miss about this house is the gameroom. It is HUGE. We currently have two computer desks, a full size pool table, a 55 gallon aquarium, a loveseat & sofa, two bookcases, a large entertainment center, and two end tables up here. It’s practically a house on it’s own! This is where we spend the majority of our time, and where I am right now. It’s also one of the warmest places in the house during the winter …

I will also miss our large bedrooms. Each room is big enough for at least a double bed, with lots of space left over for other things. Of course, when you live in a house that has 2600 sq ft, 10×10 rooms would seem a little odd, wouldn’t they? But I have seen them in houses this big. That’s what makes these bedrooms so wonderful. Each one is big and wonderful.

There are some people who seem to think that walking away from a house is an easy thing, but it is not. You try to look at it from a business type perspective, but the truth is, your home is a big part of who you are and how you live your life. This is the place where I met my husband for the first time, where my son and I reconnected with one another after two years of my being in school and working full time, and where my daughter and I have spent wonderful hours baking cookies, making soaps and gifts for friends and family, and where we’ve cuddled together and watched chick flicks after particularly difficult weeks. We weathered a hurricane in the house, and met some of our best friends here. We met people here who have made an indelible mark on each of us, and we hosted parties, holiday gatherings and enjoyed every minute of each of them.

No, it’s not easy to walk away, and I wish it wasn’t necessary. There’s nothing I would like more than to stay here and live happily ever after for years to come. But the truth is, we just cannot afford to stay here, and so we must go. And go we shall … we just need to find a property owner who is willing to give us a chance to prove that our credit score does not reflect who we are today, nor who we were a year ago. All that score reflects is someone who lost a job and then had difficulty finding a new one in a very bad economy, and someone who struggled to keep too many balls in the air, and then watched them all come falling to the ground. It reflects a couple who hit a rough patch, but is trying to get their feet back under them.

Surely someone will see all that and understand, won’t they? It’s feeling increasingly like no one ever will, and I’m becoming very discouraged.